Archive for November, 2012

Slideshow of momma’s life

First, I want to thank so many people for all of the support, the love, the cards, the food (lots and lots of food) and prayers. My family, dad, and brother have felt so loved over the past week. The wake last night was actually a beautiful and very special time. So many people came out and loved on all of us. Thank you!!!

Second, the graveside service in Lexington is being organized. The date is tentatively set for December 8th, but I will send out a confirmation when I have more information.

I have included the Slideshow that David and I created to show at the wake. So get out a box of tissues and settle in to watch this 9 minute video of my momma’s life.


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There will be a small wake at Eastern Hills Wesleyan Church on Thursday, Nov 29 from 6-8 in Greenfield Theater. The service at the cemetery in Lexington has not been scheduled yet, but it will probably be a week or two from now.

Here is a website that the funeral home has set up for my family.


Thank you so much for all of the prayers and support that everyone is sending to us. We all appreciate it

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Momma went to heaven at 11:50 am.

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A snowy Sunday

Mom is still with us today, but she is now unresponsive. It is a blessing and a curse. The blessing part is because she is at peace and not upset. The curse part is because she is one step closer to death.
The nurses just came in to try to rouse her up. She did not rouse. They said it could be today or a couple of days now. Unbelievable. Unbelievable that she has fought this long. Unbelievable that she is almost gone. Just unbelievable.

I wanted to let everyone know what our plans are for services.
1) We will have a small wake at Eastern Hills Church for a couple of hours. People can come and go as needed. I am making a slideshow of her life to show in the background.
2) Mom wanted to be buried in Lexington NY where she grew up and her family is buried. So at a later date there will be a small graveside service for any family or friends from MorningStar or back home that can attend.
Some people have asked me why we are not having a traditional funeral for her. Well, it is as simple as none of us wanting one. Even mom voiced her desires a few months ago to me. She wanted simple, quiet and no fuss. So that is exactly what we are doing.

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Softly snoring

One of my biggest fears was that mom was going to die on Thanksgiving. All she did was snore softly. Thankfully the doctor has adjusted her meds so that she is in a comfortable sleep almost all of the time. It had gotten to a point that any awake time was disturbed and distraught. Now she is just snoring.

The Chaplin came in today and told me that a persons personality is stronger at death. That may be why mom is still fighting and not able to stop. She fought harder and longer than anyone I know. I think it is taking her a long time to relax and let go. Today is day 9.

The grief and sadness is coming in waves. One moment I feel fine, the next I am sobbing. I have a feeling that is very normal. I was also looking though the Black Friday Ads and thought “maybe I should buy that for mom for Christmas”. Again, normal, but very difficult.

My father and I signed up for daily emails from Griefshare.org. Each day it has helpful insights and scriptures on how to grieve. Yesterday, one line from it said, “Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle of the ache.”

I found that simply profound and extremely reassuring.

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Update summary

1) Doctor and nurses are still saying that she will be with us for a few more days. Her body is not ready to shut down yet.

2) Her delirium has gotten worse and more frequent. During her alert time, she is very confused and upset. Saying odd things and talking to dead relatives. None of this is uncommon, just disturbing to witness.

3) Due to her increased agitation, the doctor is going to increase one med that is helping her sleep. It keeps her comfortable and snoring softly for hours.

4) hospice has a Thanksgiving buffet here tomorrow for families. Not the ideal way to spend the holiday to say the least. David, our girls, my brother, dad and I will have a separate turkey dinner in a week or so.

5) We are handling it ok at this point. It is very hard to explain how we feel to people who have not gone through this. The waiting is very very difficult and emotionally draining. But we are trying to take care of ourselves. Phil is going to the drive in tonight, my dad is spending some quality time with his wonderful, beautiful and talented granddaughters. And me? I went to Five Guys last night and had the best cheeseburger with a pretty cute guy.

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Giving thanks

things to be thankful for:

A God that holds us close and promises that we will see my mom again.

A strong, yet sensitive dad who lives close

Modern medicines and doctors that have helped my mom a lot during her life

In-patient Hospice that keeps my mom comfortable

A brother and aunt who come to the rescue

A husband who anticipates what i need without me saying it

An amazing group of friends and family who run errands, watch my girls, and text me encouragement

A mother who used to play Willie Nelson for me when I had chronic ear aches, who used to “bring me around the corner” when I could not sleep, and who called me her “little Lucy”

I have a lot to be thankful for.

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